Mr. Kim, the guy who waves

The first time we drove into our neighborhood, to look at a house for sale, it was the middle of winter. And as we turned onto our future street, we saw a man walking a dog. He saw us. He gave us (random strangers) a vigorous wave and a hearty smile. It felt like a very good omen. We bought the house, and love our neighborhood.

In the time since, I’ve gotten to know that guy – Daeho Kim – because everyone does. I saw him today, on the same spot I first saw him, and took this photo. He walks every day, sometimes with a group, sometimes solo, always stopping to talk to people, waving at everyone. This is the foundation of how a community is created: We see other people, they see us, we build mutual trust, which turns into support, and a feeling of safety and belonging. It takes work, because you have to be out and about. It’s also a risk to initiate, because the other person might not reciprocate. But this is how everything starts! Every friendship you’ve ever made began with a simple “hello”.

I go running almost every day along the LRT trail, and I also wave at everyone. When my kids rode in the jogging stroller, they would notice these interactions and would wave, too. Whether for strangers or our own kids, modeling this behavior creates or reinforces the social norm that we acknowledge other people, and we’re part of the same community. If you want to build a caring community, start waving!